New Horizons Test Preparation and Language Arts

Spotlight on Students

MYW Sample Essay by Roy

Author: Source: Date:2015-11-15 13:21:33 Popularity:20

  The first major writing assignment in our Spring 2015 Middle Years Writing course required students to create an original character – an antagonist. Students were given creative freedom to write a back story explaining how this character developed. Below is an essay from one of our students.

SHSID Grade 7

A Description of an Antagonist

  In the darkest spot of Planet Zeus, moonlight was slowly fading into darkness, and was being absorbed by the evil atmosphere. A man in a black suit prowled slowly and awkwardly in the pounding acid rain. Buildings surrounded him began to corrode, and crack noisily beside him. A knight living in the residential building shouted at him: “Hey monster! You wicked man who stole my blade!”
  “You’d better return it to me immediately, or I’ll……,” he suddenly stopped talking. The man in black raised his hand, and the knight flew into the air, high above the building. As the man raised his arm higher and higher, the knight felt it was almost impossible to breathe under the thunder clouds.
  “What the……”
  Then the man crunched his fist, and the knight simultaneously stopped moving and breathing, falling directly from the sky to the ground, from heaven to hell, rotating several turns, passing through the building beside him, and crashing onto the ground with a loud bang. The wind howled, passing the man in black; the man walked towards the icy body that lay just a few steps away from him.  Rain drops pounded on the wound of the dead body, and leaves and dust flew, just surrounding it, falling on his pale white skin.
  “I’d like to thank you for your blood and clay. So fresh, indeed. I will take them, and for your sins, you won’t rest in peace.” The man turned around and walked away.
  The man reached a black tunnel. A goblin with red eyes and green wings flew out, smiling with her fingers wiggling.
  “Master Godag, welcome home.”
  Godag stepped into the dark tunnel, into his secret crypt beneath the ground, and shut the door behind. This was where he lived.
  “Home for me,” Godag sighed, “for almost three thousand years.”
  His home was located right above the center of Planet Zeus. It was icy cold, about two thousand degrees below zero. The crypt was gigantic though. For him, the dark tunnel and the crypt were the two of the three most important places to him. He grew up in this crypt. Godag was well-educated by his grandfather, for he had learned many professions, from astrology to geology, from cryptology to ethics, from psychology to neurology. He knew almost everything about the world he lived in. But one day, there came the death of his dear grandfather. His grandfather was murdered by the bright Knights from the other side of Planet Zeus. Godag witnessed the murder and when the blade of the Knight Lord impaled through his grandfather’s body, he could never forget the scene of his grandfather’s death. Arrogance and pride revealed clearly on the Lord’s despicable face.
  Then it started to snow, falling and dancing in the freezing air, tip-toeing on his shoulders on his broken heart. Godag’s eyes suddenly became red, and in his body flushed through the passion of revenge.  With an illuminating flame in his heart, he raised his hand and pointed to the horizon.
  “Go!” he shouted. Suddenly, an avalanche from a snow-topped mountain nearby occurred, rushing down towards the knight and buried hundreds of them. At this point, Godag held his grandfather’s body and ran towards his home. He slipped, and fell, but he never gave up.
  Finally, he reached his crypt. He tried to wake his grandpa, shook him repeatedly, but there was no reply. He cried mournfully and aggressively beside the body. He stopped sobbing when he saw a letter his grandfather was holding. He slowly took the letter, unrolled it, and saw some words: “APPLE TP HEART.”
  He knew what his grandfather meant all of a sudden. For “APPLE”, grandpa meant wisdom, and “TP HEART” was to tell Godag to transplant his heart. He nodded, and in an hour, he successfully finished his operation, and now he had two hearts, and almost infinite power.
  “I shall take revenge on the knights,” as he prayed for his grandpa, “for I am the God of Darkness and Gravity now…”
  He wasn’t wicked. Nor was he awkward. His clothes were pretty simple, some dark suits, and three suits of armor. No exceptions. No one knew what he really looked like, and no one had ever seen his face or hair. All his servants knew he had three eyes, two of them were purple and the top one was orange. When the orange eye opened, it meant a disaster was going to fall. When the two purple eyes stared at his servant, his servant would feel that his soul was burning, shouting for help in flames of hatred. He could travel at the speed of light or even a little faster, but normally he preferred to walk or fly at a normal speed. Air surrounding him was always dark without oxygen whatever the environment was. So knights who’ve seen him also called him the Dark Dust. Knights didn’t dare to stay nearby him.
  Godag was very vigilant and that was the reason no one had ever touched him over two thousand years. His eyes could see through ten thousand kilometers, and his ears could hear from eleven thousand kilometers far away. Being a divine god, he was brave and intelligent. His war strategies were well planned. He had strong leadership skills from controlling over a hundred million skull soldiers. He was quick and wary, of course. But he was apathetic and cruel. He had an ability to corrode a planet and control the gravity. He was also not that friendly or polite, but he never broke his promise, and he had a really strong will. For centuries, he had been influenced by the dark power, and his pure personalities were materializing to the darkness. He had a fear of nothing, for he thought he could never die or pass away. In general, he was the God of Darkness, and had all the characteristics of a cruel and dangerous leader.
  “Meeting, Master Godag. It’s ready.”  A goblin whispered in a low voice.
  “I’m ready.”

On a:No data

Hongqiao Campus
1F, No.480 Hongxu Road,
Minhang, SH
Jinqiao Campus
Room 203, Buiding B, No.18
Huangyang Road, Pudong,SH
Huacao Campus
2F, No.372 Xingle Road,
Minhang, Shanghai