New Horizons Test Preparation and Language Arts

Spotlight on Students

Pre AP/IB Sample Essay by Tommy

Author: Source: Date:2015-11-25 13:25:26 Popularity:18

        

In our PreAP/IB course, students are occasionally required to write a timed, in-class essay based on an actual AP essay exam question. In our Fall 2014 class, students were asked to read a passage and analyze it in a fully developed essay. Below is an essay written by one of our students.


    Tommy
    SUIS Grade 10
         Florence Kelley's speech  manages to deliver a strong anti-child labour message while at the same   time using the issue as a bargaining chip to fight for women's right to   vote. In her speech, a variety of rhetorical strategies were used,   including repetition, rhetorical questions, and a persuasive tone, as   reinforcements to her message to the public.
          A certain influential  sentence fragment which really makes the audience sympathetic is also   repeated constantly: "while we sleep,"/ “Tonight we sleep." This   particular sentence fragment often appears after some description of   child labour in manufacturing industries. The speaker is trying to make   us feel sympathy and raise awareness of the severity of child labour by   reminding the audience what the unfortunate child workers are doing   while "you" fall gently to sleep. The speaker knew that people are most   definitely going to have pity because they're literally wearing the   fruits of the children's hard work. Repetition emphasizes that   unbearable image and keeps it in the audience’s minds.
          Now, when the speaker asks   questions such as, “What can we do to free our consciences?" or "Would   the Georgia Legislature have refused at every session to stop the work   in the mills of children under twelve?" The speaker does not lack an   answer; instead, she answers her own question in order to motivate and   suggest to the audience what they can do to contribute to her cause. The   speaker intends to answer the question in an effort to further prove   her argument. Her suggestions include enlisting grown workers to replace   and liberate the children from hard labour.
          The speaker's selection of   diction and detail helps her develop a persuasive tone. The overall   tone is energetic and passionate. By constantly giving sympathetic  speeches to the victims of child labour, she almost sends the audience   on a guilt trip with statements such as, “No one in this room feels such   participation". This implies that no one appreciates the products   produced by child workers.
          Overall, the speech was intended to remind people of the severity and the evil of child labour, which was spreading.
 


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