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MYW 2nd Prize Essay of 2018 Spring Writing Contest

Author: Source: Date:2018-7-26 14:26:14 Popularity:14

The theme of the Middle Years(G6-7) in this Spring is about  juvenile growth, affection, friendship, loss, and life change. Students need to learn various biographies and explore literary rhetorical devices such as proverbs and metaphors.

Teacher's review:The second Middle Years writing assignment for the spring term asked students to create a vivid, fictional world that only their character could go to.  Paris’s submission was a complete story that included character development, vivid imagery, and realistic dialogue that helped to effectively convey the major conflict of the story.


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Paris' Essay:

Where the Rainbow Starts

Paragraph 1 Terrible Secondary life

“Ida! Is 5:30! Quick! It’s time to get up! You are late!” Ms. Anne’ loud roaring had appeared in the cloudy sky in a gloomy March Monday.

Ida calmly got out of her soft warm blanket and drifted out to put on a set of complicated school uniform. Her whole boring day had begun.

Ida was a special student in a special school— ‘SUIS’, It must be the most terrible one for even a real genius.

But Ida, is the top one in this top school. She was a serious girl, with thick glasses on her big eyes that shone the light of intelligent. She was top in every subject and every activity. She was totally a machine, with no motivation or emotion. She was bored by this.

Her mom wanted her to, to get on top, to get a good grade. Sometimes, her heart wanted to protest it, protest all the homework; all the additional classes, but she couldn’t. Her mom was absolutely a tyrant.

  In home, Ida was so quiet that her family didn’t even notice that she was there. She did everything lonely, but quite reticent and rigorous on the surface, but without heart. Her whole

thought was to rid herself of school’s shackles. In her room, there was space for her lively imagination to wonder.

But on the surface, she was a Perfect child, that all parents dream of.

 

Paragraph 2 The rainbow

In Ida’s small town in west America, there was only one thing that every resident is proud of------ rainbows.

There were billions of tourists that come to see the unique scenery in this tiny town.

Ida always saw a lot of people with cameras in their hands, looking for rainbows.

On that unusual day, before Ida’ s birthday, after a whole day’s stress working on math and English, she opened her homework e­xpressionlessly, trying to focus on it, but, she couldn’t.

The clouds got more gloomy and dark, preparing a thunderous storm. Cars were screaming, dogs were barking; people were quarreling about small things. Everything seems noisier than before. It was the first time that she couldn’t focus on one thing. Her eagerly imagination was about to explode. They wondered around and excitedly exploring around her brain. It must be a kind fairy who put this amazing feeling in her brain: Where does the rainbow start?

That night, the happiness made her wide awake. “That is fascinating! Girl! I am going to have a great expedition on the rainbow! “Ida took a glance on the outside. Rain was pouring, rhythmically and softly. Her lonely apartment was surrounded by a thick fog. She knew she will get there---Where the rainbow starts.

 

Paragraph 3 Lime

Ms. Annie stepped forward to the opening door, Ida was coming back, and today was her little honey’s 11th birthday. There was a huge box occupying the cozy living room. There was a pink-dotted bow tied on the top of it. Special to other formal gifts which were piled in the corner of the sofa, it had round, small blowhole on it. It was like a live animal package that Ida had seen in one of the biggest pet stores in town.

“Honey, today is your birthday!” Ms. Annie gave Ida a big bear hug. In Ida’s memory, her serious mum had never treated her so kindly before.

Ida gently pushed her self away from her mother’s sweaty hands and took a lot of discipline to maintain her calm, and slowly, untied the bow with her small, shivering hands.

There was a little kitten, sitting there, looked up innocently and curiously, observing its new home.

Ida immediately picked up this tired, weak creature in her arms and held it to her chest.

“From now on, my special fairy, your name going to be Lime.”

She whispered to the sleepy cat, quietly.

 

Paragraph 4 The waterfall

“Wow, What a lot!” Ida signed, looked around in a pile of works. It’s the kind of happy sign.

Her whole afternoon was totally free now.

And Ida was going to chase after her curiosity ---Where does the rainbow starts?

She put on her sneakers, and kept the door open, just a gap as wide as Lime’s body.

As she expected, a thin figure appeared in front of her. Lime again.

Ida and Lime had a special relationship between.

When Ida came out, Lime was accurately aware of this, and chased after its owner as fast as she could.

Maybe that was what people called ‘’Privity”.

They wondered around for about half an hour, and finally they caught the figure of a clear rainbow.

“Ha! There it is! Lime! We should chase after it! Until we find its origin!”

Lime nodded, it understood what it’s only human friend means.

So, Lime quickened its steps.

“No!!!! It is disappearing! Quick! Lime! We are behind it!”

Suddenly, she stopped in front of a cliff. It was not a wide one, but a deep one. There were saplings growing wildly. And, the most fascinating part was that waterfall. With rainbow color. Lime rubbed Ida’s     calf with its, and quietly sat with her. The atmosphere was in silence. They all watched formidably the setting sun and the misty rainbow, and the rainbow color waterfall assembled in one point. Ida slowly and majestically turned her head to Lime, and announced: Well, I think we’ve got there. Where the rainbow starts.”

 

Paragraph 5 Doubts and questions

They watched the sunset and listened to the song created by the stream that flowed through wide streams. But the time reminded it’s time to go back.

So, Ida and Lime came back home together.

When they opened the door, it was eight o’clock at night. Ms. Annie wasn’t there.

“Maybe mom is at my neighbor’s home? She didn’t even leave me a message! How strange this is?!” Ida thought in her mind. But it was eight at night, and tomorrow is Monday for school. Whether mum came or not, she must go to bed now.

 

So, she cleaned all the tables up; packed all her complicated assignments in to her navy-blue school bag.

The last job was to put on her pink pajamas. They were big and long and didn’t fit her. It made her look like a clown with funny big clothes that made people tumbled.

Ida wobbled in the pajamas ‘sleeves and then fell on her fluffy, soft blanket. She laughed, happily and lively, she never laughed that loud and happily in her whole life. Not even when she discovered Where the rainbow starts, no.

Monday had a stressful morning. Ida went on the school bus in a bad mood. She didn’t know why. Maybe because she didn’t have much time to explore Where the rainbow starts?! School is too boring for her imagination? She cannot figure out, so she sat quietly in her seat, thinking.

 

As Ida stepped in to her homeroom, she found some differences. There was a bare, additional desk, standing there, lonely, seems like it was waiting for some body.

This question finally got a satisfactory answer. A tall, skinny girl in proper uniform, went in their classroom. She was shy, and particularly beautiful. She was from a big city in State of New York. Her name is Derrida. M.T.

And she gave everyone a smile, a smile that was sweet but dangerous.

Ms. Wendy, our class teacher, ordered that Derrida will be sat next to Ida.

Ida wanted that too, she was curious about this new student.

The first class, is presentation class. It was also the day they perform their new homework assignment (it is a presentation about study).

Unfortunately, Ida was selected to be the first one to present.

She was quite nervous about preforming her presentation.

But, today’s presentation was the part of Ida’s final grade, she has to worked on it!

So, she trotted up to the platform with her draft (it was written before she went to explore Where the rainbow starts)

And began to present.

Ida began her first sentence shivering and extremely nervous, then Ida controlled her e­xpression, and tried her utmost to hide her nervousness.

The teacher stood aside listening to it calmly at first, but after a while, her face began to frown. At nearly the end of Ida’s long speech, the teacher furiously stopped Ida’s speech, and shouted at her: “OH! I think you’re a good student! But this time, your presentation is terrible? How can you stand there with your draft? Can’t you recite it? You are not well prepared! Ida! And the content of your presentation! It’s unacceptable! How can a student, make play and education, free and learning together? Sit down! You are going to get a big F on Your sheet!”

Ida walked back, sat down with a thump sound.

Ida has never been criticized by a teacher so furiously. She felt embarrassed, and strangely tired and exhausted.

She fell down on her desk, trying to not let any tears run out of her big, blue eyes.

She can faintly hear the teacher let that new student to do a impromptu presentation, the same topic as her!

“That’s for contrasting and shows how bad I am! “Ida thought sorrowfully.

And then, she began to think about a serious question: “Would it to be a good choice to discover Where the rainbow starts again?”

 

Paragraph 6 Let’s go to that mystery hallway together

Ida and her beloved pet Lime, trotted on the uneven ground to where the rainbow starts.

The waterfall was still there, calm and quiet, just like a normal, and formal landscape.

But through the rainbow color water, Ida can dimly see something, it’s like a big hallway, with wooden torch on it, and at the end of it, it was a rusty sign, it’s so rusty that she cannot clearly recognize the letters on it.

She came closer to the waterfall and tried to identify the Words saying on the sign, but she failed, she was going to fall if she just took one more step. So, Ida stopped that, determined to come back tomorrow for that mystery hallway, walked through the long meadow booming with blossom and peach flowers, and back home with curiosity and imagination.

Thursday’s school life was strangely exciting because of Derrida, Ida had found out that she was a hard-working girl on every subject but wasn’t better than her.

Also, Derrida has a good personality, Ida like her much.

At break time, Ida was working on an English essay, she wasn’t that good at think about a topic and some points. When she was distressed by it,

Derrida whispered to her quietly: “Em, you can write on those topics from Page 78, you don’t need to think yourself, that’s a lot of work to do.”

Ida felt very familiar with this kind angel, soon, and by that, they become a close friend, and Ida was determined to show Derrida Where the rainbow starts.

 

Paragraph 7 Portia times--Best times together

‘Knock, knock’ “Em, hello! Is this Derrida’s home? Is anyone here? I am here for Derrida!?”

After a second, Derrida appeared in front of Ida, with her black and white sport kits.

“What do you want to show me? A treasure? I love treasure by the way! Quick, let’s go!”

She grabbed Ida’s wrist and pulled her into the blooming meadow leads to that mystery hallway.

When that motivated girl galloped to the end of the meadow, Ida stopped and proudly announced: “There we are, this is the thing that I want to show you. It’s a mystery hallway, lead to a unknown world maybe? So, I need you, to make a solemn promise, don’t tell this to anyone! This only belongs to us! Please, don’t tell it to any others!”

Derrida majestically nodded, and Ida knew that she will keep this secret forever.

Ida took a deep breath and closed her eyes when stepped through that risky cliff that might take her life. Derrida repeated that same acts cowardly. When they both standing in front of that rusty sign. The light began to appear at in the end of the lane.

“Quick! We are getting into our own world! “Ida shouted surprisingly.

So, they fastened their speed and run into that beam of light.

Ida and Derrida stood together, and looked around the world that they were now in.

They stood still like two fools, watching, admiring and praising how fascinating this world is.

But, they were right, they were not lying.

The sky looked like it was made from a book, different genre and different kinds. The sky looked like a big colorful blanket with patches on it that covered over the ground. The grass was colorful, and very Delicious to Ida. It was the mixed taste of candy and Sprite together.

For houses, it seemed like a dream. All the houses, no matter big, small, cozy, large....Are all made  of ice cream and white chocolates. The road was even more dreamlike---it was made up of soft candy that can make you fly up and down like a free bird.

When Ida and her friend were still standing there, a little child came close to them and began to introduce himself in a shy tone.

“Hello, emmm.. My name is Harris. I am a residence in the Land of Portia. Welcome to the land of freedom and happiness!?Are you here to avoid your real problems in real life? I think you are! or you’re not going to see the gate of Portia! Em.... Maybe I can take you and show around this town. It’s a small one, it won’t take you a long time! So, let’s go!” And then Harris turned around and began to run through that green road which lead to some candy houses and their gray chimney which blew out rainbow color and draped the land in a veil of rainbow color mists.

Ida and Derrida gave each other a glance and chased after that bouncing boy on the road.

Their adventure had begun..

 

Paragraph 8 I am the queen?

Hey, Harris, it’s your turn now! Kick that ball!” Ida shouted across the pink football patch in Portia.

Today is the fifth time that they visited Portia, to escape from everything that they hate and felt very bored of.

Portia was their fantasy dreamland, not for anyone else. The commoners there were angels to Ida (oh, they are so kind!). In their dictionary, there was no word like crime or lies. There are innocent. That’s the biggest difference. Their life there was comfortable. Everyone had their dream, but no one was there to force them to achieve this. Ida certainly wanted to live there forever. But she couldn’t. At night, she and Derrida will be transferred back to their home for sleeping.

“Hey, there is a poster. Let’s have a look at it! Maybe is some interesting stuff!” Derrida said, pointing over a crowd of children in rainbow color clothes.

They went through that huge crowd and stood at the center of it. In front of a black and white poster: Election! The first election of Portia! Starting 28th March 2018! Commoners who are interested in it please came and register in the Democratic Office at the main street No.721!”

Ida’s eyes shone with excitement: ”I am going for it! Let’s go Derrida! You are going with me, aren’t you!? Are you interested?”

“No, thank you.” Derrida answered, in a strangely calm tone,” I am not interested in being a queen or a, you know, my friend.” And then she walked ahead, straight to the office of Democratic and even didn’t turn her head around and wait for Ida.

(That’s strange, but never mind. She is my best friend now. Ida thought, confused) She chased after Derrida, her pace was full of youth and passion, it seems like she was ready to take the challenge of being a leader of a magical dreamland. No one noticed, but Derrida frowned with a evil grin appearing on her skinny face, she was ready for revenge, too.

 Paragraph 9 A head-on blow    

The Spring had ended in several rainy wet workdays. But Ida and Derrida always gathered in front of that waterfall and the hallway to Portia. That was because of the election.

The portians were very interested in it, and they enjoyed it so much.

On the 15th of May, Ida and Derrida opened the door to Portia again, and this time, it was the most important time in Portia--it was the day that announced the result of the election!

“Yeah! It’s her! I know it will be! Hey, where is she? “Ida had heard a loud shouting in a child tone.

It was Harris. So she was the queen! That surprised her, and shocked her. It was to sudden, and she needed some time to digest and accept this.

When she ran forward to hug Harris for her happiness, her body became lighter and lighter, it was the time to transfer back to her soft, tidy bed.

“XUUUUUUU”

“oh! This is a bad time!‘Ida signed in her bed regrettably.

Lime grunted and found herself a comfortable corner and lied down.

Just a second more and she and Harris could have hugged each other to celebrate the new queen.

But fortunately, Ida got another chance--she could go back there tomorrow, with Lime, to celebrate her election of the queen. She smiled at Lime and then fell asleep deeply in that night--even it was gloomy and dark.

The next day was a sunny day, Ida had a good mood to face that boring school day.

“Hey, Lime, let’s go back to Portia! You can go with Derrida first, she will take you there, don’t panic!”

Ida picked up Lime and gave this light creature to Derrida, but today, Lime was strange, she groaned and screamed, and then scratched Ida, seems like Ida had forgot something important, but, unfortunately, our poor Ida can’t understand Lime’s serious warning. And Derrida took Lime out directly out of Ida’s pink door, an evil sneer hanging on her lips.

Derrida quickly walked to the end of the lane, she was so familiar there, but there will be the place that let Ida pained forever. She stretched her arm and punted the innocent cat into the air--she closed her eyes, reminded of Ida’s haughty and selfish ways, and then, she threw that struggling creature down to the depth of that cliff. “Now Ida must feel terrible!” Derrida thought in her mind.

She resolutely turned back and left that cliff and that cat was unknown to be dead or alive.

She got the first step of her revenge plan, what’s up next?

Paragraph 10 No!!!

Ida happily leaped in the blooming meadow, it was the beginning of Summer now, the meadow was a heaven of pink and white Beardtongue and yellow Yellows far away, there was a mountain, it was tall and enormous and stretched for miles around this small town. But Ida today didn’t have the time to enjoy this amazing landscape, she had a more important thing to do.

It was nearly the end of the lane, and Ida became more anxious and excited about it:

“Hey, Derrida! Are you here! Let’s go!”

But no one answered, only the birds tweeting made Ida feel a bit more relief.

“Maybe they just went to Portia before me, that’s ok.” She muttered when she resolutely crossed that cliff. Suddenly, a thought flashed in her mind and disappeared as quickly as a running cheetah. But being genuinely cheerful made her ignore the danger.

Ida ran to the end of the hallway, Portia, a place of genuine happiness and peace, and she’ll be the ruler there........

BONPPPP!

Ida was astonished by that, someone had just blocked her way to Portia, blocked her way to be the ruler, the queen. Who was that?

Ida was very disappointed, her ceremony of coronation and all the celebration, but there was no situations to fix the door to Portia, the only thing she could do was to wait, wait until someone has unlocked the door to Portia?

She regretfully turned back and went home, but Ida don’t know, in her home, there was a bigger storm waiting for her.

“Ida, it’s your semester report!” Her mum screamed in the dining room.

The air in the house suddenly became serious and damp.

It was the most nervous moment that Ida had never had before.

Ms. Anne unsealed that sky-blue envelope with her frozen and freezing tone.

“Ida, come here.” Mum began to speak majestically. Ida knew that mama had found something on her grade report, she walked slowly and a bit melancholy. What’s wrong with her? From a good student to a bad child who only knew how to play? This was not what she had expected from Portia, Ida thought Portia would only make her better than before!

“Ida, you got the second place in the grade ranking. “her mom said in a calm tone, but Ida perfectly knew what was going to happen next, she knew her mom well though those years----more calm means more danger to Ida.

In her expectation, her mom opened her mouth in a unconcerned tone: “What a shame, Ida. Reflect on yourself this holiday. You’re grounded this Summer holiday, no bargain.”

Ida nodded, this was what she deserved--punishment. She was so stupid. Thinking about being the ruler of Portia, to explore this fantasy land to make her better!?The first time, she doubted her choice to explore Portia, and maybe she was right.

 

Paragraph 11 Hopes to rekindle

Ida was crying in her bed in her cozy, blue home, it was the middle of the Summer holiday, and Ida had lost everything, her resolution, her place as queen, her pet and her freedom. It was a big hit on her and made her lose hope. Ida had come back to be an ordinary student in the most terrible school in the town. Every event she encountered this half the year deserves nothing, it was totally wasting her previous study time.

Ida thought in her mind: “Because of my damn personality, I lost everything I had which was wonderful and amazing. How stupid I am! I am so greedy! My life was wonderful before, but I changed it myself in to a hell!”

Ida lied on her smooth blanket, and tears running out uncontrollably. No one was going to understand her emotion or thoughts anymore. And she will become lonely and strange after a while, and.........Ida cannot imagine what could happened next. When she regretfully self-criticized all the defects she had on her personality and all the stupid things that she did throughout this half a year, a grey” light” flashed over the window and stopped at the glass, To Ida’s surprise, it was that disappearing creature half a month ago-------Lime. You can see a crazy mixture of emotion in Ida’s pure, blue eyes. They shined under the bright, warm sun today.

“It’s you! Lime! You came back!” that was a big surprise to Ida, at least a big event, Ida said in her most exciting mood of these days,” Oh, I thought you were dead in that cliff to Portia.”

Ida was never that excited and hopeful as this dying Summer holiday.

She hugged her little kitten tightly and allowed herself to enjoy the lost joy that Lime had brought her.

Lime lightly rubbed her owner’s long pajama, and a rough message tumbled off. Ida quickly picked it up. It was a small patch of paper, scratched in a hurry. Ida put it close to her eyes to read the messed-up words:

Your cat had been thrown off the cliff by DERRIDA. Your place as the ruler has been OCCUPIED by HER, TOO. She blocked you that day. COME BACK as quickly as you CAN!!!

H.

On the back of it, Ida found an announcement, obviously by the new “ruler” of Portia.

Announcement
The old queen of Portia and her pet had passed her crown to me, the best friend of the old queen, DERRIDA. Because the old queen thinks that study is more important than rule this country. From today, I will take the crown and be the ruler of Portia.
D.M.

The excited and joyful atmosphere had disappeared immediately when Ida was reading that rushing message.

“Thank you, Harris. You were a big help. Now the truth has come out. “Lime could clearly see revenge flaring up in Ida’s sky-blue eyes, “I thought I understood Derrida before, but it seems that I was wrong. She doesn’t have the ability to rule the most peaceful, pure and innocent creature in this universe. It’s time to get what we deserve back!”

 

Paragraph 12 The final battle----Fight to win or die

 Ida slipped out of her thin blanket and into her warm outfit. It’s 1 PM, and mum was napping in afternoon, so that no one will notice her room was empty even though she was not allowed to go outside. She tip-toed to the open window and leaped onto that wooden windowsill and jumped out of there, Lime followed. Now they were free now, the first time in this damp month. June’s bright and shinning sun blazed from the clear blue sky. Ida and lime trotted towards their final destination.

“Hey, Harris! I’ve never seen you in the real world!” Ida shouted, quite happy.

“Oh, my. Ida, you are finally here. You don’t know what was happened in Portia. And now you have time to joke! You are the queen, Ida, and you should take what you deserve back.”

Ida signed:” I know, and I decided to do it. Derrida doesn’t deserve that crown. She was a liar, and a tyrant.” A serious look had crept onto on Ida’s delicate face.

Two children and a grey cat strode over that waterfall and want into a beam of bright light.

“Hey! Derrida! I am here for you!” Ida and Lime walked on the main road to the office. The world had changed a lot. She couldn’t see any color here. Everything was dim in black and white.

She couldn’t see anyone wandering around here--the downtown of Portia.

Ida pulled the front door of the office. Derrida was sitting there, in her luxurious leather sofa. She shivered when she saw her enemy stood in front of her with flames in her eyes, but it just lasts for a second.

“Oh, hello, my‘friend’. How are you with your empty room and your homework. Great, huh?”

Derrida said in a satirical, scratching tone.

But Ida was not going to be furious because of those provoking words.

Ida was going to strike back.

“Hello, my old friend.”Ida said, trying to keep her voice charming and calm,” I just remember you have borrowed something from me before you blocked me from entering. Today, I am here to take it back.”

Ida stepped forward and laughed scornfully.

“What? I don’t think you......”Derrida’s sentence was interrupted by Portians yelling and protesting.

“Huh, seems like they have noticed who is coming.” Ida sneered,” You don’t deserve that crown, Derrida, you don’t. They are pure, they don’t know what is called lying, what is called making up stories. You are not a good ruler!” Suddenly, Ida had understood the strength, the bravery that Portia gave her, this cannot be learned in a class, or any books.

“If you don’t want to give it back to me voluntarily, I will let all the Portians judge us.”

Derrida stood up from her seat, she looked a bit nervous, but she didn’t want to compromise.

Ida stepped forward some paces and wanted to grab the crown.

When her small hand was about to touch it, Derrida pulled her away to the glass door. Ida’s freak back was bleeding in the fragment of glasses. But she was not giving up because some scars and injury.

“Give me some bravery, Portians! I need your help!”Ida prayed in her mind. Again, she rushed toward her foe, she touched it, just a bit more strength...pulled it off her! It doesn’t belong to her! Yes, you can! Do it! Just grab it! Ida could feel every Portian was pulling for her.” Think! What you have learned this half a year!
“Noooooo!Give it back!” Derrida shouted and disappeared in a veil of mist. Ida fell over and fainted, before she totally blacked out, she saw the breaking and the collapse of that which represented fame and supreme power in Portia.

But just as she said, reputation and power is not what I want here, because I already know and have the best thing in the world, it’s friendship, pure friendship.

 

THE END


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